October 2005 - Posts

Monday, October 31, 2005 3:14 PM

My first and only poem...

I wrote this back in college.  I'm not sure where I was, but I just re-found it in one of my notebooks:

Who Is She?

Who is she, this girl who will steal my heart?
Who is she, this girl from whom I will not part?
Will she make a lot of money, or will I support her?
If the latter is the case, will I be able to afford her?
Who is she, this girl who will straighten out my life?
Who is she, this girl who will be my wife?
Is she white? black? yello? tall? short? fat? thin?
Does it really matter, the color of her skin?
All that I know is that she'll be wonderful and kind.
All that I know is I will lover her mind.
Because all that really counts is what's inside.
And that's what I want from my beautiful bride.
Not bad, huh?
posted by Tom (Comments Off)
Monday, October 31, 2005 12:10 PM

The Tongue Olympics

I'm watching some old Celebrity Poker episodes and I have decided that Gina Gershon must have spent much of her early years sitting in front of men and doing things with her tongue to learn what mesmerizes them. 

Whatever she did, it works.... REALLY well.

I'm sure most of you are thinking "too much information, Tom!".  Sorry for that.

Update: I was trying to find a picture and found a Maxim article where she states “I have a really long tongue. I had to have speech therapy to learn how to swallow."  No comment on that one either.

Here she is licking her (?) foot.  Not quite what I had in mind, but she does have a long tongue.
posted by Tom (Comments Off)
Monday, October 31, 2005 10:58 AM

From the "Duh!" Department...

George Takei has come out of the closet. 

You know the one; it has no clothes in it, is completely transparent and everyone can see into it.  The one with people all standing around saying "Doesn't he know we can see him in there?".

For those who can't envision this, here's an artist's (my) rendition:

(NOTE: You can see him...) I mean tell me this man is straight:



OK, all stupid stereotypes aside.  Who cares?  If people don't stop pointing out things like this, things will never be any different.  It is just like people who point out that (fictitious person) Mary Johnson was the first Lesbian African American Superintendant of Schools for Wichita, Kansas.  Again, where do you draw the line?  When is it just not significant? 

If people want to be treated like what they do/are/feel is normal, they have to stop making a big event out of their "normal" lives/activiites.
posted by Tom (Comments Off)
Wednesday, October 19, 2005 7:02 PM

I like coffee but not this much...

I don't have time to make art with my coffee, do you?

Anyone need a new hobby?

posted by Tom (Comments Off)
Monday, October 17, 2005 4:05 PM

Hmm... I can imagine what the ID folks would think of this..

Religion is genetic?
posted by Tom (Comments Off)
Monday, October 17, 2005 8:41 AM

So... one US Government scientist says to the other...

Hey... I don't feel so good...
posted by Tom (Comments Off)
Monday, October 17, 2005 8:31 AM

At least she didn't use the "foot wedge" like I do..

Michelle Wie, whose rise in women's golf has been chronicled more than Tom Cruise's insanity, was disqualified for a bad drop that she didn't tell anybody about.  Depending on who you believe, it was either 3 or up to 15 inches closer to the hole. 

Let me restate this -- On a hole, which was probably 400-500 YARDS long, in basically an open field of grass, she accidentally moved the ball between 0.0167% and 0.1042% of the distance to the hole.  If you consider that most pros can easily hit 200 yards with an iron, that would mean that, on her next shot, she gained an advantage of between 0.042% and 0.208% of the distance of that shot.

I say they didn't punish her enough by disqualifying her and taking away the 30,000 British Pounds she would have won for her efforts.  I think they should strip her naked and make her run around the whole course shouting "I am a cheater!!!!".

Give me a break.
posted by Tom (Comments Off)
Tuesday, October 04, 2005 9:32 AM

Unintelligible Design..

So.. *thump*, *thump*, the fundamentalist whackos (and I use that term in the purely scientific definition) are trying to push Intelligent Design (aka: The Bible Creation story) into Science classes in school.  This is a topic that raises my blood pressure through the roof every time I think about it.

I don't care about your beliefs.  You don't have to care about mine.  What you do have to care about in a Science Class is that the children should be tought... wait for it.... SCIENCE!!!  Intelligent Design, as I have stated before, is hogwash.  It inserts Religious Punting (tm) -- the practice of replacing "I don't know" with "God wanted it that way" -- into any questions about the origin of life and everything else. 

Bradamant had a really good discussion on her blog about it and it got me thinking.  The posting also refers to a hilarious post at Slate about the same topic that made me chuckle and think "yeah...  why make the discussion so complicated?  Humor usually hits home a little better with people who have no idea what Science means anyway".

But, frankly, anything that makes self-righteous know-it-all religious types who make assertions without any basis for them look dumb is great reading to me.
posted by Tom (Comments Off)